What does it mean dude?

We all know what it means. But, when asked this question, I blanked out for a while and I wondered, not about the answer; but about why this question was even asked. I am not going to take any names here, as it might hurt someone's prospects of a relationship. So let's name people as X, Y,  A, B and so on....

Curious dude X tells another dude, Y, about this friend of his. Friend = A.
Dude A and gal B had been friends for a while, and were often just hanging out together, talking about, god knows, whatever topic. During one of such hang outs, A and B ended up holding hands for at least a couple of hours.
and then ......... wait for it.................... wait for it.................. nothing! This is all that happened (or at least what I came to know of). Whats more significant is what happened after A and B parted. A called up X and told what had just happened and asked him "yaar, agar ek ladka aur ladki ek-doosre ka haath pakad ke baat cheet karein, to iska kya matlab hai?" and X said that he didn't know, and was puzzled himself. As he was curious he asked Y about the matter.
Y digs on to get more info on this by asking questions like - Who held the hand first? Was this some comforting or consoling hand holding or not?, basically tries to get some possible masala out of the story. X replies positively, saying that there wasn't either consoling or comforting involved, no one in particular held the hand first, it just happened.
This is where I come to the picture. So this dude Y tells me about X asking him such questions. I too, obviously asked Y the masala extracting questions, and told the universal conclusion about this matter, to which Y agreed. We confronted X about this and got some more info on the topic, which pointed to one thing - there is no A. X was playing the oldest trick in the book. He used the name of A to just narrate his own story. I guess the proxy can be understood in a way that by doing so, X gets to keep his budding relationship under cover, and also gets a way to ask the trivial question.

But the other question still lingered....
What does it mean when a guy, asks his friends for the answer to this trivial question?
One could be that X knows what it all means, but for some reason hopes for a different answer.
Or this could be his arbit way of sharing info on his life.
Or he is just trying too hard to analyse the situation.

So, tell me.. What does it mean dude?
 

You are 'It'

Set out on its own way,

it doesn't know how it came to being,

or when it will die.

The path it takes, is called its destiny.

While it rewrites destiny,
with others of free will.

Collides with some of what's in its path, 

evades the others, it defies those 

who try to predict; flaunts its free-will.

The free-will, itself takes it on a ride

of self realization, and destroys the pride;

then disintegrates and merges it with self.

It is the self that takes them all, 

feeds, nourishes and sends each one out.

Out on its own way.

Everytime I Die

Some come and some go, 

the sum total may not be constant. 

But then, nothing in life is fair! 

The ones coming, are welcome, 

I bid farewell to those leaving. 

For those returning - I hope it's different 

'coz no one likes to die, over and over again.
 

Old Monk Joke

You might be disappointed if you are a fan of Old Monk Rum.
This is probably the oldest Buddhist-monk-joke, and I must have heard it many a times. But the last time, I heard the correct version and finally understood the humor behind it....

There's a barbecue at the Zen Buddhist temple, and the Zen master's working the grill. A young monk reverently approaches.
The Zen master looks up, smiles and says, "Wanna hotdog?"
The monk replies: "Please, Master, Make me one with everything."

continuing with the other part....
After taking the hotdog, the monk pays for it with a $20 bill and asks for change and the Zen master replies: "Change must come from within"

Fair. Enough!

It all came crashing down. She finally acknowledged what had been around her for a long time, and had grown in front of her - slowly, steadily, brick by brick, and wall by wall. 

She believed that sometimes a talk with a stranger can be a real eye-opener 'cause she thought one who has nothing at stake, speaks one's mind. This guy was less of a stranger though, and more of an acquaintance. But the realization came to her nonetheless as she knew that he stood unbiased, and did not have any hidden agendas. She could not ignore or refute his stand. Well, it wasn't even a stand that he had taken on the issue. It was a fair, simple question asked in a candid manner, that had her dumb founded. The whole situation was like something that led to the aphorism "Know Thyself". Something like what went through Socrates mind, when a person, who didn't know what Socrates looked like, asked him if he knew Socrates well.

She took a while to come up with an answer 'cause each time she attempted to answer she ran into the walls which she had ignored all this while and simply could not find a passage out of the concrete jungle. After about a minute, all she could manage was a mumble - "I don't know. Maybe?". He couldn't hear what she said, but the look on her face was a sign enough for him to understand that he had poked her on a sensitive issue. She brushed the question aside and moved the conversation to another topic. He, being an acquaintance, let it slide. But, the question lingered in her mind, leading to a desire to act. To act on destroying the prison of ignorance.

दासतान-ऐ-दिल

वो हमे भूल गये तो चलो कोई गम नही।

भूले को रसता तो कोई दिखा देगा ही।

पर पहचान कर मुह फेर ले, ये हमे मंज़ूर नही।

कसम से! बन्दा ये सच्चा है, कोई आवारा नही।

कोई यह बता दे कि हमने करी कया खता,

जो दुनिया कहती है कि माफ़ी हमारे नसीब नही।

अब गिर कर उठा ना जाए, लाचार दिल ने ऐसा करा,

क्यूंकि रूठे वो हमसे और हमें अब ये जाहान गवारा नही।

हरा हर पल करता है दिल के ज़ख्मों को,

वक्त भर देता है हर घाव को, यह सच नही।

दासतां है यह किसी और की यारो,

क्यूंकि ..... मेरे सीने में तो दिल है ही नही।


for the devnagari handicapped -


Woh humein bhool gaye toh koi ghum nahi.
Bhoole ko rasta to koi dikha dega hi.
Par pehchaan kar muh pher le, yeh hein manzoor nahi,
Kasam se! banda yeh saccha hai, koi aawara nahi.


Koi yeh bata de ki humne kari kya khata,
jo duniya yeh kehti hai ki maafi humare naseeb nahi.
Ab gir kar uttha naa jaye, lachaar dil ne aisa kara,
kyunki roothe woh humse aur humein ab yeh jahaan gawara nahi.


Hara, har pal karta hai dil ke zakhmon ko,
waqt bhar deta hai har ghav ko, yeh sacch nahi.
Dastaan hai yeh kisi aur ki yaro,
kyunki...... mere seene mein to dil hai hi nahi.

The year long relationship - Part 3 of 3

Important: this is part 3 of a trilogy, it is highly recommended that you start with Part 1

More than half a year had passed, it was mid March and we were now practically living together. Luckily my landlord never saw her. Anyway, I was planning to make a trip to Bangalore to meet up with IIT junta, and asked her to join me.

            Me: Hey Lon, my friends are having a get together in B’lore. Do you want to join me?

            Lon: No. I think you’ll have more fun with your friends without me.

That’s another thing that irked me a lot. It’s as if she not only had no place for friends (neither hers nor mine) in her life, but also in some way she was allergic to them. Let alone meeting some friends, even if I received a call from a friend, she would just disappear suddenly. I tried to poke her on that a couple of times, and all I could get was a cold reply – “You’ll be having fun with them, what do you need me there for?”. If not allergy then maybe  jealousy of some sort. Anyhow, it was a battle front and I was loosing badly. Social life was coming to a screeching halt. Sometimes these sorts of things make you consider the pros and cons of an entire relationship. I knew I was in a corny corner, I guess it was an addiction and if so, I needed a rehab.

Fate, it seems had a plan for me - I had to travel for work to US for a couple of weeks soon. It’s not that I was dying to get away from Lon, or that I have a craze for US; but I like travelling. Even if you hate travelling, you have to admit that it’s fun to be at a new place, see new people, and learn new culture. For me it was all the more exciting because it was my first time outside the country.

If I remember correctly, I got my visa on a Wednesday evening, and it was decided on the next evening that I should travel on the same Saturday, so that I get some time to settle in before joining the US office. With just two days to pack up, practically one day as I still had office on Friday, I had to hurry. I started to pack on Friday evening and I was doing it frantically and that annoyed Lon –

            Lon: Oh, somebody’s excited.

            Me: Well yea, but more tense than excited. I still haven’t yet got confirmation of the hotel reservation, and I leave tomorrow. Moreover I am travelling alone.

It is not a big deal – travelling alone. I am used to it, I do that often from Chennai to Bangalore or Delhi. But going to a new country, alone, seems to be a big deal for everyone.

            Lon: Alone? So you won’t have any company for next two weeks?

            Me: Yes and No. I will be staying alone, but I have a couple of college friends who stay in the Bay Area. I hope to catch up with them in the weekends. It’s been a long time.

            Lon: Ah! Super. I suppose you wouldn’t miss me then.

And hence started the whole ugly argument again, and ended up in a communication breakdown - that too right before I had to leave. It’s the last thing you need on your mind when you are packing. I decided I’d let her break the silence this time.

As soon as I landed at SFO and got the immigration stuff done. I called up Ankit, who said he would come pick me up and show around SF. It was awfully nice of him and Aditi, his gf, to do so. We also called up Vibhu who had just come back from his convo @ MIT the same morning, and despite his long journey, he got up and travelled another 45 miles by public transport to meet us! We roamed around in SF for a while, had brunch, and then went to the famous Golden gate bridge. It was the smoothest possible transition for me to a new place - in familiar company. The very next day Harsh landed in Bay Area for his internship, and there was another addition to the gang. We guys spent almost every weekend together – Movie/ Pub/ Club/ Hookah/ Beer back at Hotel/ Football World Cup matches/ Sailing/ Beach trip/ Road trip. It was very much a jam packed trip.

Work was keeping me busy in the weekdays and I was keeping the gang busy on weekends. As the work demanded, I extended the trip by another 3 weeks, and I didn’t even have to think twice about it. Why would I? I was having a good time, great accommodation, pick up and drop for office, non-vegetarian food every day and a gala time with old friends. I guess Lon was right, I wasn’t missing her at all, I was successfully rehabilitated. Meanwhile, a couple of my school juniors - Ronak and Mayank, who were graduating this year, and placed in Chennai, asked me if I wanted to share an apartment with them, after getting back. I agreed almost instantly and later on I realized it was probably the best decision I had made. I hadn’t officially broken up with Lon yet, in case we were to patch things up, this was the easiest way out to improve on our social life. She just could not not-meet flat mates. I just got excited, I had the perfect solution. I had already given her my new number over e-mail, but hadn’t yet heard from her. But what the hell, I had the perfect solution, so I called her up. A relapse.

            Me: Hey Lon, What’s up??

            Lon: Hey Sarb! Nothing much, just back to the old business of haunting lonely single men. How are you?

She killed me each time with this one. She really has some memory.

            Me: *a laugh. I’m good.

Blah-blah-blah and I updated her with the stuff going on there. 20 minutes and we were chuddy-buddy; it turned out to be easier than I thought - to patch things up. So, I decided to tell Lon about me moving with Ronak and Mayank. The reply was completely unexpected.

            Lon: So this is your way of breaking up?

            Me: What? Break up? Who said that?

            Lon: Yea, I said that. You know that I don’t like to meet your friends. I know you’d ignore me when with your friends. Now you’ll have flat mates!

            Me: What do you mean you don’t like to? You don’t want to!

            Lon: Does that make a difference?

            Me: Hell it does! You haven’t even tried to!

            *awkward 30 seconds silence

            Me: So it means that if we are together you will never go out with me to meet anyone?

            Lon: You are SLOW. It took you a year to get to that conclusion?
            *painful 30 seconds silence of introspection.

            Me: Hmm.. Yeah. Thanks a lot and GOODBYE Miss Ness.

As Oracle once said “Everything that has a beginning has an end”. This was the end of it. What did I learn from it? I don’t know, maybe not to drag it for so long 'cause people start to think that you are SLOW. Anyway, Life has taken a new turn and I am back in Chennai and have moved to Thiruvanmiyur with Ronak and Hrishi. Mayank got an offer in Bangalore and obviously chose Bangalore. This marks the end of Lon era. Good riddance Ms. Ness. May you find some painful guy to drive mad and wish I never have to meet you again. Cheers to Ronaxx and CHB and to the good times ahead!

Important Message again: Thank you for your patience to go through the extra long blog, split over three parts. Unfortunately, this is not a plain text. This is my first attempt at writing a breakable "code". Hopefully it will not be the last. I request you to try to break the "code". I’ll be glad to answer any questions after that. You can always ping me for any hints. Answer/Solution is updated in the comments section now!